There I said it out loud. I felt like an imposter and who the heck did I think I was? Sitting at my laptop planning an online course, I decided to stop and stay where I felt safe.. in fear!
What’s the definition of that word, anyway? According to Google it is “a person who pretends to be someone else in order to deceive others, especially for fraudulent gain”.
Hey, hang on that’s NOT who I am. So why do so many of us suffer from imposter syndrome?
I’ve been putting a lot of thought into this one as I’ve experienced it over the last few years and every now again it pops up. Especially when I’m going through some personal and professional growth.
In the 8 years that I’ve been active online, it’s a term I’ve heard many of my peers refer to.
When you search “imposter syndrome” on the web you get bazillions of results.
Here are a few examples:
- Is imposter syndrome real and how do you deal with it?
- 21 proven ways to beat imposter syndrome
- The reality of imposter syndrome
You name it, you can read reams about it.
In this post I wanted to share my reality and not how I overcame it, but how I manage myself every single day from a place of love and great respect so it doesn’t take over when it shows up.
I come from a family of high achievers. My grandfather was hugely successful in the motor trade and I grew up watching my my father rise high and is now at the top of his legal career.
What occurs to me is that growing up watching all of this success, I was filled with fear that I’d never make it to those heights. I somehow formed a belief that I would not reach those heights.
When I look back at why that was the case, I’m immediately reminded of a meeting when I was 15 in my headmistresses office.
She was a strict and authoritarian person and was telling my parents that I just didn’t have what it took to get a public exam and should consider my options.
In that moment, I gave up on myself in many ways and it has taken me all of twenty years to come back to who I am. In a way it’s sad but I also feel lucky to be learning and growing.
It wasn’t until 2011, when my back was against the wall that I had to dig deep and ignore all the fears of failure.
The recession had hit us like so many other people in the world. Nothing special about us but we needed extra income and that needed to come from me.
I started my online journey and set-up my business from the rural village of Cross, Co Mayo where the broadband was so useless I had to put the dongle in a sandwich bag and hang it out the window for a connection.
Long story short, over the years I threw myself into learning and connecting with people online. I even travelled to San Diego to social media marketing world in search of information and business.
Suddenly, I was starting to experience success. I was on this trajectory of learning and connecting so I could come to a place of leadership.
Then one day, I was sitting at my laptop. I’d just launched an online course and had the biggest panic attack.
What was I doing? Who did I think I was to teach anyone anything, least of all how to grow a business.
Oh man, just writing this brings me back to that time, but I don’t feel that experience anymore.
Here’s how I manage imposter syndrome daily:
Everyone starts somewhere. Even the most successful people in business once knew nothing about what the know now.
What does this mean? Simple, we’re all equals. We’re just in different parts of our journeys. Some further along than others.
Self-care. This means something different for everyone but find out what it means for you and do it daily.
For me it’s been going to life changing events like Tony Robbins UPW and taking programs with Moira Geary. Her positive recombobbers group and wealthy minds program changed everything for me.
Surround yourself with smart but very caring and amazing people. I have to mention my friend and current boss Emeric Ernoult in Agorapulse.
He’s been central to job coaching me but whether he realizes this or not, he also life coached me along the situations and experiences that we have navigated in business.
Always encouraging but never lets me away with allowing fear to stop my growth. It is really important to have people in your corner who believe and won’t let you away with the excuses and retreating 🙂
He believed in me when I didn’t believe in myself and gave me the opportunity to train, coach and support our sales team. I LOVE what I do each and every day because I am making a positive impact and helping those I want to support.
Filter out the negative, judgmental and dramatic people from your life.
If you’re surrounded by that behaviour it means two things. One you’re getting a reaction and must be in a funnel of change for the good for you but not for them and two, you’re ready to move away.
The most important thing with others is not to judge them on their behaviour. They are on their journey and you’ve got to respect that.
Talk to amazing friends who may have been there or who are doing amazing things.
Ladies in my life and industry that really walk the talk include Vikki Taylor and Joanne Burke who listen to me when I’m doubting and lift me back up when I need the support.
Daily gratitude. For the simple stuff in life. Myself and Jamie who is my 10 year old son always end the day with the three things we are grateful for. It’s humbling and calming and we step into those feelings.
Help others less fortunate than you or support and provide advice that you know will help them. It’s not always about you.
Talking to family that who no matter what will always have your back.
Do you or have you suffered from imposter syndrome? Let me know in the comments and let’s swap notes on what works for you.
I’ll leave you with this.
There is only one YOU! Love her/him and keep moving with love in your heart, joy in your life and safe in the knowledge that as long as everything you do is from a place of love and wanting to help others, you’re not an imposter X
Did this post help? Please share it … I’d love to open up this conversation.